The Real Me

I've realized lately that I don't love the person God made me to be.
I feel insecure about who I am, and that makes me feel awkward when I talk about myself with others. I try to please others too much, and that causes me to be someone I'm not. I mask my feelings and live behind a wall of "I'm great, life is great, and I'll do anything to make you happy." I don't accept myself fully for who I was created to be. I'm not confident at all either. I constantly compare myself to others and question every decision I make. I don't believe I have the ability to do things that others say that I can do, and I doubt the truth of others' encouragement and compliments.

///All of this needs to change!///

The real me is a daughter of God, loved unconditionally by Him, and beautifully fashioned by His hand. The real me is weird (not in a bad way) and goofy at times. The real me has struggles, trials, questions, and things needing growth. The real me loves to talk, but doesn't think that anyone else truly wants to listen. The real me is trying every day to fall more in love with Jesus and share what He is doing in my life. The real me wants to break free.

I want to be the real me.


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Now that I got that out of the way, here are some more sky pictures.

 

Random Fact Wednesday (7)

This is more like a rant than a random fact, but it'll work. One of the few things that really annoy me is when people don't respond to messages/invitations. Like, I'll send out a message or invite for an event, and almost half of the people I send it to don't reply at all. I don't get it. Why can't people take a minute to reply? They just leave me hanging, not knowing if they've actually read what I sent. Even sometimes I ask a question twice, and still don't get a reply. It's a mystery to me, and it annoys me greatly.

If this has ever happened to you, or you know how to fix this problem, leave a comment. Thanks!

A day at the beach

I finally did something on my summer bucket list - went on a spontaneous day-cation at the beach. Hannah came with me, and we had fun in the perfect-temperature ocean and sand. :) I didn't take many pictures of the actual beach, but here are the ones I did take:

We had quite an adventure getting there - lots of rain and u-turns. Then at the beach we found a shark tooth, watched as swimmers kept ignoring the lifeguard (his whistle got annoying), and saw a police officer arrest someone for giving alcohol to a minor. On the way home, we saw a gorgeous sunset. I took pictures of it while I was driving. (I know, not smart, but it was too pretty to pass up)

So, that's one thing checked off my summer bucket list. I'd still like go find an open field and look for shapes in the clouds, start doing yoga, fix some of my clothes that are too big, and go camping. We'll see how many I can get done before August.

And since it's Wednesday, here's a random fact about me. I don't entirely trust electronics, so I write almost everything down and keep receipts for everything. I even look up directions and write them down before I go somewhere, just in case my GPS doesn't work. Call me weird, but I prefer having a piece of paper instead of looking at a computer-type screen.

Test Results and Fun Times

Well, I got my test results back, and everything is normal. But I found out I have acid reflux. So, I've changed my diet a little bit and started drinking baking soda in water. That has helped a lot. Also, I believe that my worrying and being stressed about stuff, made my 'problem' worse than it actually was. I thought that something was really wrong with me, and I kept trying to figure out what it was and was so worried about being sick. That alone most likely caused me to get so many upset stomachs. Add to that: stress from various aspects of life and having acid reflux, and you can imagine how sick I've been lately.
But, by God's grace I have started being less anxious about my health and life in general. I still have to grow a /lot/ in trusting God, but I've come farther than I ever have. A passage in Scripture that has been a big help is Isaiah 26:3-4 "You keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in You. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord himself, is the Rock eternal."
I've read this every day for the past couple weeks, and God has used it to help me keep my thoughts from going down the 'worry lane'. God is so good, and kind, and has blessed me richly!

------- Now on to the less serious stuff. -------

 
Sunday evening was so fun! I got to hang out with some of my best friends and watch a Shakespeare play outside. We got rained on, but I like the rain so it was nice. :) Here's my favorite picture from the evening:

Last week I went to Reedy Creek Park by myself. It was relaxing to just sit and listen to the sounds of nature, and not think about what I had to do later (or anything really). I like this perk of being an introvert. :)
I took some photos too.

Can you find the little fish? (just to the right of center)

goodbye May, hello June

Well, May is over. It has seemed like one of the longest months ever. Hard to believe that the last M28 event was only 4 weeks ago today - seems like a lot longer.
Why has May seemed to go on forever? Let's see, 1) no M28 meetings every Thursday, which means I'm not shopping for snacks for those meetings and I miss seeing everyone in M28. 2) I've been battling stomach issues quite a lot, still waiting to hear back about my test results. 3) Work has been slower, so not as much to do.
Yep, that about sums it up.

In June I'm looking forward to: Shakespeare in the Park with friends (that's actually tomorrow!), hearing back from my doctor so I can start my journey back to health, possibly going on a spontaneous day trip to the beach, and maybe visiting a friend in Fayettville. Should be a good month!

Random Fact Wednesday (5)

Yay for posting 3 days in a row! :)

Random fact: I enjoy using my hands to accomplish tasks. Let me explain.
I would rather use my hands for cooking/baking than using a machine. For example, to chop nuts or other various things, I'd rather use a knife and cutting board than a "chopper"; and I'd rather mix batter with a spoon than an electric mixer. I would rather use my hands to shred paper than use scissors. I would rather write things down by hand than use a computer keyboard. I would rather pick at a sticker with my finger to remove it than use a knife. Etc.
I can never seem to stop moving my hands. When I'm not doing a specific task with them, I'm usually fiddling with my hair or tapping my fingers on something. That's probably why I like massage and sign language so much - 'cause I get to use my hands!

  

picture post

Just some random pictures I took at various places. :)

These next few are from Sunday, when I drove along the Blue Ridge Parkway. It's so gorgeous up there!

And two from the internet.

(a few of) My Friends

I want to take a minute to talk about a few of the amazing, wonderful friends I've been blessed with. Most everything I write about each person is from what I have observed/learned about them in the times we've been together. It's what I admire most about them, apart from their love of Jesus. Yep, my friends are pretty swell. :)


Cara is probably my closest girl friend now. We're doing a Bible study/accountability together, which I really enjoy. I tell her pretty much everything that's going on in my life, and she listens attentively. She is very graceful and enjoys dancing (she's quite good at it too!). She is kind to everyone and is always willing to pray for others when they need it. She is ladylike, self-controlled, and modest in dress and character. We both like a lot of the same things, which makes it fun to hang out with her. I've learned several things from her through our talks together, for which I'm grateful.        

Tim calls himself a social misfit and a nerd, but I see in him an extremely gifted, intelligent young man. He enjoys - to name a few: the outdoors, photography, words (he works for Wikipedia), and NASCAR (if we mention something that happens to be a sponsor, he'll say enthusiastically "Guess what? That's a NASCAR sponsor!"). Tim is a very thoughtful and caring person. He often gives people compliments, asks how they're doing, looks for ways to bless them(he's excellent at this!), and really tries to understand them. He also has a wonderful sense of humor - he makes me laugh at least once every time we talk - and he's not afraid to laugh at himself. I admire this, because I tend to take myself and life too seriously.

Josiah, I can honestly say, is becoming one of my best friends. I can talk to him about almost anything, and he'll always give good advise/encouragement. He has a joyful, outgoing personality, and a hearty laugh that makes me smile. He is very intelligent and enjoys learning new things (I've been teaching him a bit of sign language, and he always seems eager to learn), which is good because he's in nursing school. He will be an excellent nurse - he has a kind and compassionate nature that comes out when he's inquiring how people are doing. Josiah is also chivalrous and selfless. He treats girls with respect and looks after them well - helps them carry things, walks them to their car, opens the door for them, etc. He puts others before himself and often looks for ways to serve at events or get-togethers.

Jessie loves life. She always has a smile on her face, and can often be heard singing random songs. She usually has a "pep to her step" and keeps her words positive, which encourages me to have a positive attitude as well. I am very fond of her laugh, in all its various, unique forms (yes, she has several different laughs, which is great!). Jessie and I are both in the post-college stage of life, so we understand one another quite well. I'm blessed to call her one of my best friends.        

Kasey is (according to her own words) a spaz. She normally has lots of energy and hardly ever stops moving. I enjoy hanging out with her because she brings out the extrovert part of me, and she's just lots of fun to be around. She enjoys singing, cutting hair, and quoting funny movie lines.        

Tiffany is kinda my cheerleader. I haven't known her long, but she's always excited to see me. She also gets excited for me when I share exciting things. (Wow, I used the same word a lot.) I'm glad she's a part of M28.     

Jeorge has lots of "Jesus Christ swag". He's a great encourager and always willing to pray for others. He tries to stay positive, and does a great job of keeping a smile on my face when I feel down.

Alex H. (had to put his last initial 'cause I know so many Alex's) is like my brother, 'cause we've been through a lot together. He's very handy at fixing things, enjoys working on cars, and gives great hugs. He's good at making sure I don't take life too seriously, and that I stay safe.
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So, those are just /some/ of my wonderful friends. I am so blessed by each of them! (I could keep going, but I don't want to bore you with stuff about people you might not know.)