Monday, January 11, 2010

God is faithful

ok. that last post was a bit depressing. sorry about that.

i think now i'll post about God's faithfulness to me in 2009.

For one, God broke my fear of man. one year ago i would never dream of talking to anyone except my closest friends, i would only talk to someone else if they talked to me first, and i would hardly ever ask anyone any questions. God showed me that i was treasuring man's opinion of me more than God's opinion of me. then he gave me grace to change.
Today i don't mind talking to complete strangers, and i love asking people questions. i don't care if others think i'm weird in what i say, as long as i'm pleasing God in my speech. true, i do prefer listening over talking, but i'm much more willing to contribute to a conversation than i was a year ago.

Another thing God showed me was how to be a better friend. God convicted me of being selfish in my friendships. i wanted people to pay attention to me and invite me to hang out and ask me questions. it was all about me, and i felt like i didn't have any friends.
God showed me i needed to reverse my thinking. i am supposed to benefit my friends, not the opposite. i'm supposed to reach out to my friends and ask them questions and invite them to hang out, make an effort to get to know them better. if i do that consistently, then i will be a true friend, and others will start to benefit me.
i still have a long way to go in being a better friend, but God will help me grow. at least my thinking is correct now.

The most wonderful thing God did for me in 2009 was open up His Word to me in a new way. i used to hardly ever get truths out of my devotions. but now i almost always learn something from reading my Bible. it's definitely the work of the Holy Spirit revealing truths of Scripture to me. And now i love, love, love reading my Bible and theology books. there's nothing i would rather do than study God's Word. i couldn't say that a year ago, but i'm so glad i can today! :)

Wow, God really did some amazing things in my life last year!

Sunday, January 10, 2010

life's moving slow

This song by FM Static kind of describes my life right now.

It we take our time
I bet we can all find
The things in life worth living for

One thing I know is that when life's moving slow
I'm not out here on my own
I've got You to get me through this

My life seems to be moving very slow. I'm not in school, and I'm not content with my job any more. I used to love my job, but now it feels a little burdensome. Maybe that's because all my leaders at work say I'm one of their best employees, so I feel like I have to live up to their expectations of me. I'm so tired of trying to do my best, I just want to give up.

I know that God's grace is sufficient for me, but that truth isn't really helping me right now.

Sorry you have to read all this complaining. =( I hope I didn't discourage you, and I'll try not to post this kind of stuff too much....

On a happier note, this Thursday the M28 Big meetings start again. =) And REKINDLE is just 2 months away! It's going to be so much fun this year!